The Roll Top Desk

My husband sent me a text message a few months ago telling me that one of our family members was looking to re-home his roll top desk. I could tell by his wording that he really wanted to have it.

I, however, had no idea what it looked like nor any idea where we’d put it in our small-ish house. But, these were things I resolved we’d just figure out when it got here. Since he wanted it, and I didn’t, I told him he’d have to be in charge of getting it into our house, and as long as I didn’t have to do anything to get it here, I’d figure out how to live with it.

Aren’t I a supportive wife?

After thinking through things, I decided the only place the desk would work in our home would be in our master bedroom. So, I moved things around and measured out where the desk would go once it arrived. It’s a good thing to, because once it was put in that spot, the fellow helping David move it stated he wouldn’t be moving it again on account of how heavy it was.

David could tell I didn’t like it. But why would I? It was a man’s desk. Nothing about it was “my style.” It was dark and heavy, and I NEED light and bright and open. However, quickly I came to recognize its value. We were days away from traveling for Christmas, and I had presents to wrap and keep away from little fingers. The top of the desk was the perfect spot. Secondly, I now had a large workspace that didn’t have to be cleaned off every day so we could eat dinner OR, again, so little fingers wouldn’t be able to reach it. Within a day of using it, I loved it and thanked David over and over again for seeing its potential and getting it to our house and began to call it “my desk.”

Now, I just had to make it look like “my desk.”

Since both David and I wanted the desk to not be so dark, I decided to start with white paint. He, however, didn’t want it to be “just a giant white desk.” Our kitchen is white- white walls, white floor, white cabinets, white table. I understood his sentiment. So, the project became an interesting challenge.

Since I’d painted several pieces of furniture in our home already, it wasn’t too daunting of an idea to paint this as well. I knew it’d be a project though, so I asked David for a power sander for Christmas to speed up that step of the process. I also gave myself an entire year to complete it, so I wouldn’t feel rushed.

And so I started… in our bedroom. The desk couldn’t be moved, so I’d have to work on the majority of the desk inside.

I began sanding the big spaces, and then removed hardware. I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do with this “beast” as I came to call it along the way. But, I knew I wouldn’t ever get it done if I didn’t start, so I’d have to just experiment along the way.

As I progressed, I began to like the idea of doing a two-toned desk. What I really wanted was white and blush pink, but I knew that was too feminine for our master bedroom. So, I channelled the image of David and I on our wedding day- black tux, white dress- and decided to go with black. This also turned out to be a safe choice, because the only way I was going to be able to get paint all the way into the back of those shelves was to spray it in there.

My dad bought me a paint sprayer for this project, but I didn’t feel confident enough using it inside our bedroom. So, I used the paint sprayer in the safety of our garage on all the drawers, and I used the spray paint I’d bought for the hardware inside. It was too shiny to be the end result, but it worked for those impossible to reach spaces.

My dad had painted our shutters black for us awhile back, and I still had plenty of left over black paint, so I used that to paint over the spray paint which gave it a matte finish.

The black and white was feeling really fun and classic, but it was a little too clean. I started wanting for the piece to look like it had been hand painted and had lived in a French home over 100 years ago, not like it had come from a store looking this way. So, I decided to antique it. I knew I was going to use Valspar sealing wax, because that’s what I’ve used on every piece of furniture I’ve redone, so I decided to give their antiquing wax a try.

It changed everything about the piece- for the better! I couldn’t believe how easy it was and what a dramatic change it made.

So, the last thing I needed to figure out was hardware for the bottom drawers. Since I’d decided to take the wooden handles off, I would have to buy something new to replace those pulls. I had no idea how expensive hardware is, or how tricky certain lengths can be to find. After scouring the internet, and a few local stores, I finally found a pull from Build.com for about $2 each. The color wasn’t right, but that was ok. I just spray painted them with the same spray paint I used for the top hardware.

And, then, after all of the hardware was put back on, it was done…

My favorite things about this project:

Doing it with my daughter. She helped me paint the inside of some of the drawers – with nail polish.

That so many people rallied around me. I felt like I had a group of cheerleaders in my corner the whole way.

Keeping it in the family. We were touched that David’s grandpa included us in the list of people he offered the desk to. My mother-in-law (one of my biggest champions of this project) told me that I had turned it into a family heirloom, and I love that it will be a place where my kids will sit and work at too for years and years to come.

The most challenging piece of this project:

The hardware. Some of it was pretty hard to get off. And like I said earlier, it look awhile to find the right pulls for the drawers. But, because I’d given myself an entire year to finish the desk, I just took my time, and while it was challenging, it wasn’t stressful.

My most frequently asked questions about the desk:

Do you have to sand furniture before you paint it? I’m terrified that if I don’t it won’t stick the way I want it to, so I always sand. And I always have used Valspar sealing wax. You don’t even have to put a coaster on my furniture. It’s a great product. But, I don’t know if it would work as well if I didn’t sand first.

Did you use chalk paint? I had originally planned on making my own chalk paint like I always do (by mixing paint with caulk), but I didn’t. I just used regular ole’ Antique White paint from Walmart.

Take-aways:

It’s good to have hobbies that you can do at home. If I had a day when I didn’t have work (for my job) to do during nap time, or dishes or laundry calling my name, I worked on the desk. After the kids went to sleep, on nights where I didn’t have a million things to do, I worked on the desk. I loved doing something that was just for me. It didn’t matter if I messed up, it didn’t matter if it took me six weeks to sand the drawers, and my kids saw me doing something for ME. They know I work out at the gym for me, but the other things I do for me, they don’t really SEE. They saw the desk.

It’s also good to learn. I learned how to antique furniture and a little bit about hardware doing this project. It’s good to try new things. It’s good to stretch yourself. And it’s good to make time for little projects.

I hope this post has encouraged you to try something new, take on a home, DIY project, and to get your family involved in projects with you too. Just remember to give yourself plenty of time. It isn’t fun if it’s stressful. ; )

Until next time,

❤ Lindsay

Kitchen Talk: Coca-Cola Cake

If you’ve been following me for any time on social media, you know I love to spend time in the kitchen, and now that I have little ones, WE love to spend time in the kitchen.

The kitchen is called the heart of the home because it’s the room where we most tend to gather. It’s filled with comfort in the form of a favorite food, warmth from the stove, and familiar smells wafting from the oven.

It has always been my desire that our home be a safe place, and that applies to every room of the house. So the kitchen is where we safely perform all of our experiments. Sometimes they’re with finger paint and sometimes they’re with flour, sugar, and milk inside mixing bowls.

My kids help me in the kitchen as much as possible. Sometimes it’s just putting a sippy cup away for me while I’m unloading the dishwasher and other times it’s scooping and pouring and flipping levers while we make a batch of banana muffins- it all depends on their current developmental stage.

A few nights ago I was putting our three year old down for bed after a full day of experimenting in the kitchen, and she asked me why she doesn’t hear God talk to her when she prays to him. In the most simple way that I could explain it, I answered her question: sometimes people do hear God like how she could hear my voice right then, sometimes people only hear Him inside their heads, but regardless, we can always know what He says because we have The Bible, and God wrote The Bible.

I could tell she didn’t really understand, and I knew a lot of that was because of how tired she was. So, I gave her a tight hug and let her drift off to dreamland.

A few mornings later I was pulling out ingredients to make icing for a coca-cola cake out of the Magnolia Table cookbook. My daughter so sweetly reassured me that the cake would be perfectly fine without icing, so I didn’t need to continue on my quest to make it. However, I told her that I always follow the recipe the first time I make something because if I follow the instructions, technically whatever I’m making should taste good.

Several minutes later we were dolloping tablespoons of butter into the mixing bowl of our stand mixer, and again she told me it would be ok if we didn’t use all 12 tablespoons that we were counting out.

Me: But JoJo says we need 12.

Ave: Who is JoJo?

Me: (pointing to the cookbook) That’s JoJo. She’s the one who wrote the recipe for the cake. She knows how to make it, so she wrote down the instructions, and if we do it like she says, it will taste just like the cake she makes.

Ave: (staring at the cover picture) But how can she talk to us??

Me: (trying so hard not to laugh) Well, she wrote the directions down, so she doesn’t have to talk to us, because we can read what she wrote. (I opened the book and pointed to the words of the cake recipe).

Ave: Oh. Ok.

A few minutes later we were adding our powdered sugar to the mixing bowl, and I took that moment to remind her of the conversation we’d had a couple days prior about God talking to us through the Bible. Even if we can’t hear him like how she could hear me talking to her right there in our kitchen, we can know what He says if we know what the Bible says. Just like how we can know how to make this cake even though we can’t talk to her face to face or on the phone.

Does knowing our Bible backwards and forwards mean that our life will be just as sweet and easy as JoJo’s coca-cola cake? Not at all. But, in those moments when God feels far away, when we wonder where He is within the circumstances we or a loved one finds ourselves, the living words of the Bible, inspired by God to be written by men, will never fail to speak truth.

Now, I can’t say it always works out that way when you follow a recipe exactly right, but I have never once regretted knowing and believing the Word of God.

“Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17

Until next time,

❤ Lindsay

No Spend January – DONE

The best picture we could get with both of them in it.

We did it!

For all but 6 out of the past 31 days we didn’t break our “spending rules.” 5 out of those 6 days that spending was on eating either lunch or dinner out. That 1 day was a trip to Sam’s Club when we quite honestly decided to just break the rules.

Regardless, we still consider this experience as a whole a huge success.

It wasn’t all pleasant. In fact, most days it was down right annoying- mostly because I felt like an onion being peeled slowly. And right when I thought I was pearly enough, another layer was removed revealing selfish thoughts and bad habits.

But, it wasn’t all hard either.

When I asked David about his feelings towards the experience last night, he responded very positively. He said his favorite part was that our kids were involved. At the end of each day, if we had followed all of our “spending rules,” one child would get to put a sticker on the chart we had hanging on our refrigerator. If they couldn’t put a sticker on the chart, we had to tell them or remind them why. While we weren’t chipper delivering that news, it did provide a great opportunity each of those 6 nights to talk about spending and saving with them.

I, too, enjoyed doing it together as a family. David and I also both, surprisingly, enjoyed not eating out as much. We felt better, plus we didn’t waste food we already had at home.

Our home was filled with so many unused resources from food stored in the freezer to home decorations in the attic to unused gift cards we’d been given years ago. Not being allowed to spend money on “extras” reminded us to look for those items and use or repurpose them or gift them to someone else.

I don’t know if we’ll do this again this year for an entire month, but we are planning on making No Spend January something we do every year.

But, if we do decide to do it again before then, I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes!

Until next time,

❤ Lindsay

No Spend January – Half Way In

Snagged this chart off Google. I cannot take credit for it!

Am I the only one who thinks you can learn a lot about a person by the magnets they have on their fridge? If I’m correct, this picture tells you more than just how our No Spend month is going. ; )

So, as you can see, we’ve had two days that we didn’t follow our “no spend” rules, and in all transparency, I was the one who caved on both of those days. I didn’t even consult David; I just spent. Both of these spending ventures were on lunch, and on both of these days I didn’t feel well (common cold on the 13th and then a migraine on the 16th).

A lot of you have messaged me and asked what our no-spend guidelines are. For us this month, they’re…

  1. No spending money on anything “extra.”
  2. Only spend money on basic groceries (no fun stuff like gelato) and basic non-groceries (like diapers).
  3. Pay our normal monthly bills, but be a lot more conscientious about turning lights off and not wasting water.
  4. We can eat lunch out once a week, on Saturday, as a family. PLUS, we can eat lunch out after church on Sunday. (But only if we make it to church. If a kid is sick, and we have to stay home, no eating lunch out that day.)
  5. Using a gift card does not count as spending.

Thus far, this experience has been very enlightening and healthily uncomfortable.

It’s forced GREAT conversations with our 3 year old about spending and saving.

It’s also revealed spending habits I didn’t realize I had: e.g. I spend money on convenience more than I thought I did, which has been shocking to me because I’m the girl who peels my own carrots and makes my own sweet potato fries.

It’s created new meal prep habits: I try to make two dinners at a time on Fridays now (or at least a dinner and half), so that way I already have dinner at least mostly ready for Saturday which prevents us from eating out.

It’s de-cluttered our home by forcing resourcefulness. I already try to be as resourceful as I can, but this has taken it to a new level. One example, I ran out of conditioner, so instead of buying more, I dug into my travel bottles and have been using those. In the process, I noticed a bunch of stuff under my sink that really just needed to be thrown away. So to the trash those things went. Win win win.

We’ve been using our gift cards. We love receiving gift cards, but I feel like we’ve been hoarding many of them the last few years. I’m being a bit dramatic using the word, “hoarding,” but we live in a town with very few stores, so unless we’re online shopping, we just don’t venture out to the places where our gift cards are to (mostly referring to restaurants).

We’re past the half way mark, but we still have over two weeks left to go! I’ve almost thrown the towel in on this whole thing a few times, but I’m glad we’re sticking it out. And again, to be completely transparent, but not to get into a political discussion, the government shut-down has definitely turned a mirror on my selfishness these past couple weeks. Like I told a friend yesterday, there are people rationing out their insulin, and I’m sitting over here really wishing I didn’t have this self-imposed no-spend thing going on so I could go buy a new wreath for my front door.

The revelations that have come these past two weeks haven’t all been pretty. But, that’s exactly why I’m sticking out.

Have you ever done a self-imposed no-spend month? I’d love to hear about your take-aways from that experience. The positive ones and the not so pretty ones!

Until next time,

❤ Lindsay

How to host, like it’s your gift

“Teach me your ways.”

How many times have you said that to someone you know who does something really well? Every time I see a mom in control of 3+ kids, that’s me to that mom, usually on my knees with hands clasped offering to buy her lunch if she’ll just impart a bit of her motherhood wisdom on me. (I kid of course, but really.)

I get the same request often from friends and family about my set of hosting skills.

I think a good portion of how I approach being a hostess comes from my rearing- my parents modeled a welcome-arms approach to our home growing up: anyone was welcome, and everyone was important.

But then I’d say the rest of it mostly stems from my experiences abroad on mission trips, especially the first trip I took when I was 15 to Ecuador.

Our team stayed in a guest house there run by a couple from Canada. We were well trained for this trip and went down with a “you are responsible for your own needs” kind of mindset. So when we were greeted by people who made us breakfast each morning and tended to our linens, it was more than note-worthy. I caught the host-bug then and there. I wanted to provide that same feeling of care and attention for other people when they were out of their home and in mine.

The next several mission trips I took taught me more about what makes a great host and what makes a very poor one. All things I’ve taken to heart in many ways.

Since David and I got married, we’ve tried to always keep the mindset that our home, no matter how big or small it may be, is a gift that we are to be a good steward of. The best way we’ve found to do that (aside from taking good care of it) is to share our home with others.

But how? How do you host people in your home WELL? It’s really not that hard if you keep a few basic things in mind…

Cleanliness. There aren’t many people who are comfortable in dirty spaces, especially if the dirt isn’t their own. Your home, or the spaces that your guests will be in, doesn’t have to be spotless or sparkle, but think of “clean” as your foundation. If it isn’t clean, don’t go trying to cook them a 12 course meal. Clean the house before you do anything else, and then order pizza.

H2O at Home products are my favorite cleaning products and make cleaning quick before company arrives 100% doable- even with kids underfoot.

People eat. Speaking of pizza, be prepared to feed your guests- even if they’re arriving at 2pm in the afternoon. Cheese, fruit, and crackers. Muffins and coffee (my personal favorite). A veggie tray with hummus. They may not eat it, but a good host offers. Also, only offer things you know are good. Don’t experiment with guests. Have a couple go-to recipes and always use those when you have company. And if you’re a terrible cook, order in, or go out. Remember, people NEED to eat.

Choices (and back-ups). I have a laundry list of food intolerances, so I appreciate it when I’m eating over at someone’s home, and I have choices. I also REALLY appreciate it when my host asks me if there is anything I can’t eat before I arrive. Don’t only have one type of milk- have two choices. If your guest is bringing kids- don’t assume they like chicken nuggets and mac n cheese. Today they might, but tomorrow they won’t. You’ll make it easier on that mom and dad by having choices, and back-ups.

The Golden Rule. If you were staying at someone’s house, what things would you like to have available to you? For me, I like to be independent, so I don’t like asking for help, which translates to I don’t want to have to ask my host where something is. My mother-in-law has always been the queen of having spend-the-night guests. Fresh towels (and extra towels) are always in the guest bath along with every kind of sample toiletry you could possibly need and bottles of filtered water. If I forget a toothbrush, I don’t have to go ask for one or send hubby out for a late night errand. Other things people like to have without having to ask for: wifi passwords, a white noise maker or small fan in their bedroom, extra toilet paper stocked in the bathrooms, and knowledge of how to unlock a child-proof-locked potty before they enter said bathroom in the middle of the night (I may or may not be speaking from personal experience).

Attention. Your guest has made an effort to come to your home. Whether it’s for a long weekend or just an afternoon coffee break, they made time for this, make time for them. Don’t answer your phone or respond to a text while they’re over (unless absolutely necessary, of course, or if they’re staying for an extended length of time). Give them your full attention, as much as you can. Often, I’m hosting friends or family and both of my kids will eventually loose interest in every single plaything / book we own and begin running circles around the kitchen table. In those moments, I’ll turn on an educational TV show for them to watch. And because I don’t frequently plug them into electronics, I’m completely OK with turning on the TV for them while I visit with a friend. And my kids are more than OK with it. And my guest gets my attention for 20ish minutes, which is really the whole reason they came over anyway.

Is this a formula for perfect hosting skills? Certainly not. Do I get it right all the time? Nope. But, these are a few of “my ways” that I think speak warmth and welcomeness and comfort and love to people when they’re in my home, and I hope they encourage you to open your home up to others as well.

Do you have the gift of hosting? If so, what is a go-to thing you always make sure you do for guests when you’re expecting company? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.

Until next time,

❤ Lindsay

This post does contain affiliate links, but my opinions are always my own. Thank you for clicking through!

Mary in a Stable

Am I the only one who gets weepy when thinking about Mary giving birth in a stable? It’s a recent thing that’s happened to me in the last several years. I’m sure it has everything to do with having experienced two pregnancies / labors / vaginal deliveries- each that went completely different from the other.

Every time I look at a nativity during Christmastime I can’t help but think about what that was like. I have this weird “gift” that allows me to “be somewhere else.” I’m sure there’s a word for it. The one that comes to mind is “guided imagery.” I think about the dust, the straw, the noises the animals were making, the noises of the city, Bethlehem, a buzz with travelers there to be counted for the census. I think about the lack of everything… I mean, she wasn’t even in her stable where she’d have a least known where they kept the buckets or the rags or whatever you kept in a stable in those days. It was a stranger’s stable- in a town not her own. She didn’t have a midwife. And while the Bible doesn’t say it, I don’t think I’m too out of place in assuming that Joseph did not have ANY experience in delivering babies. And I highly doubt he had any clue what a placenta was.

Yet in the midst of all of it, He was born. She had cloths to wrap him in and a feeding trough to lay Him in, but that’s it. While some of us may have welcomed family and close family members into our delivery rooms after we birthed our babies, she welcomed strangers- unannounced shepherds.

IMG_4098.jpeg

We look at our nativities and see a fully dressed Mary with a head covering kneeling over her baby boy. But, let’s face it, right after you deliver a baby, the average woman waddles. You bleed. And if your milk comes in on day one, you’re experiencing fire flowing through your milk ducts as they open.

I think about all of these things now when I look at Mary in a stable. The reality of what happened that night in just that one piece of the story.

She gave birth in a stable. She recovered in a stable. She received guests in a stable. She learned how to nurse her baby in a stable.

I had my husband and my mom and nurses and doctors tending to me and then lactation consultants and chaplains and you name it the next day coming in to complete their checklists.

She had sheep and donkeys and goats and whatever else… and a baby. A very important baby. The most important baby.

God chose to bring that baby into the world in a stable: a place of filth (we’re talking animal waste filth y’all) and a place of isolation (no one else was bunking up in there).

When I get to Heaven one day, I would love to hear Mary share “Jesus’s birth story”- you know, in the same way we share our children’s birth stories with our girlfriends. The reality of delivering a baby in a stable shakes me, and what’s more is it was God’s plan.

He chose for His Son to be born in that place. Jesus, the one who created the universe, was going to be a helpless newborn sleeping in straw mere feet away from animal poop. If that isn’t a demonstration of humility, I don’t know what is.

The Christmas Story from beginning to end is full of incredible details, but in this season of life that I find myself in, raising little ones, the actual birth of Christ and the image of a postpartum Mary in a stable, overwhelms me.

What a way for God to bring His Son into the world that He Himself created. What love. What a Christmas.

❤ Lindsay

Her name is Shame, part 2

If you missed part 1, you can catch up HERE.

And now, part 2. If you’re a Christian reading this, and you choose to continue reading, you may want to do what my dear friend Beth Hollingshead says, “Take your feelings and put ’em in your purse and zip it up real tight.”

The truth is Christians say the worst things to people with depression. And I know because I’ve said them.

I will never forget one day standing in the driveway with a loved one of mine. No one knew she was struggling with depression, and I was the one to witness the first signs of it, there that afternoon. I saw a person who was strong, in every kind of way, a leader in her church, a woman who loved Jesus and served and knew him. And, I, in my naivety said, “It’s going to be ok. You know God’s got it.” And that’s when she began to tear up. A person I’d never once seen get emotional, was about to start crying right in front of me.

Years later, the same kinds of words were spoken over me, and although they were meant to be encouraging, they only made me feel even more foregone.

I’ve explained depression to others as the feeling of drowning- that’s how it is for me. So, in my dark season, I felt like a buoy in an ocean. I knew I wouldn’t sink because I was a buoy, but I also knew I was in a storm, and it had been storming for a long time, and the waves had yet to cease crashing over me. When people make comments to a Christian who is in a place like this, it feels like an enormous weight is pressing down on you and pushes you, the buoy, under the water. It’s a physical struggle to force yourself back up, and when you do get back up, it’s still storming.

Common comments in regards to postpartum depression are…

“Have you tried praying about it?”

“Maybe you should trying joining a small group?”

“Children are a blessing from the Lord. Think about how many women would do anything to have what you have.”

One day I turned on our television to watch an HGTV show and finally eat my lunch while my kids napped, and the TV was turned onto God TV. Yes, for those of you who do not know, there is a channel called God TV. And yes, we try to always leave it on God TV so that way when I turn the TV on to queue up a recorded episode of Daniel Tiger, there aren’t half-dressed women stroking a bare chested soccer player in a cologne commercial on the big screen in front of them. Fragrance commercials drive me batty. But, I digress…

I turned on the TV and was hitting all the buttons on my remote to find one of my recorded HGTV shows, and while I was navigating to it, a female speaker was talking in front of a congregation. I never caught her name, and I’m sure she’s a very nice person, and I’m sure she didn’t mean for what she said to shame anyone, but when she said what she said, my buoy was plunged 20 feet under water.

Basically, what she said was that she believed our society would be a lot less medicated if we were living with the joy the Holy Spirit fills us with.

So what I heard was, “This journey of postpartum depression I’m walking through is my fault. I did something wrong or I am doing something wrong in my relationship with Christ, because obviously, because I take anti-depressant medication, I’m not filled with that joy she’s talking about- I’m filled with depression.”

Christians, please understand something, it is possible to be filled with the Holy Spirit and have depression at the same time. I have experienced the power of the Holy Spirit working through me to do SUPER NATURAL things. He is in me. There are men and women I know, personally, who walk with Jesus, who spend daily time in the Word with Him, who serve Him in numerous ways, who too were struck with this, severely.

So, when you make comments like those above, even though you mean for them to be encouraging, they often bring shame upon the person you’re speaking to.

Are your feelings still in your purse? Put them back if you just took them out.

Shame is sneaky. The Enemy uses shame to bind. So, it’s no surprise to see how the Enemy of course would use the words that [often] well-intentioned, caring Believers offer to their friends and family when they see how they are hurting. HOPE is being extended, but the Enemy translates it to Shame.

Again, I’ve been that Christian who has said something well-intentioned, something that was TRUE, but it was still the wrong thing to say to a person with depression.

So, “What do you say?” the Christians are wondering, because Christians, it’s true… God is in control, of course we should pray about it; we should pray about everything. Yes, a small group is a great idea, but you know what, you can’t always join one right when you need to. And many church’s small group schedules take breaks, so what are they going to do when it’s the middle of summer and you tell them to go join a small group? And for the love of EVERYTHING, do not tell a woman who has postpartum depression that children are a blessing from the Lord and that other women would do anything to have what she has. Yes, this is true true true, but believe me when I say it will offer her absolutely no encouragement- all she will feel is shame.

So, “What do you say?”

I’m not a licensed counselor or therapist. So, all I’m going to share here are the statements that helped me…

“It’s going to be ok. It’s going to get better. You’re not alone in this.”

“You are not alone. In fact, _________ dealt with this too. I’m sure she’d love to talk with you if you wanted to.”

“What can I do to help? You’re not alone in this.”

Those statements loose Shame’s grip.

I fear that there are so many Christian women sitting in their houses, sobbing on the floor, feeling like they’re 20 feet under water, who are only hearing the Shame statements from the other Christians in their life. People who love these women, who love Jesus, and of course would never, ever want to make that woman feel worse! Yet, I fear this is happening far more than anyone realizes. Because I was that woman. And I am forever grateful for the Christians who said the right things to me- because there were Christians who said the wrong things too. But, the Christians who said the right things, including, in my case, going to talk to my doctor, God used to pull me up to the surface of the water. To give me air. To give me strength to stay afloat.

Shame has lost her grip on me. So, sweet sister, who read this whole thing that’s walking through depression right now, I’ve been there too. You’re not alone in this. It’s going to be ok, and it’s going to get better.

Until next time,

❤ Lindsay